June 2015 - 1-Up.club

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Saturday, June 20

.@construxnunchux - Houchi Play - Creepin' on Butts!

4:00 PM 0

In this game you are Taro Helbon a a 56 year old man with a family who works at an IT company in City X. You are a self-described super masochistic guy who likes to be verbally abused by girls in cos-play uniforms.

So Taro goes around to bars, hospitals, pools and schools all around City X looking to touch these girls while they aren't looking. When they aren't looking you mash LT and RT (X-Box) to creep along a booth to bottles of various beers, liquors, and wines. You can chug alcohol to increase the speed of your creep-styles and converge on the innocent girl. When you touch her, she yells at you and you start a new level with the same girl. Repeat, repeat, repeat with the girl becoming more aware of your butt scooting.

This goes on infinitely with dozens of girls victims. I am unsure what kind of market there is for this game. At one pint you could purchase this for 800 points on X-Box live. I had to dig pretty deep to find out what the goal of this game was and I guess you collect a gallery of pictures of these girls in costume to fap to. 

This game looks boring, sounds boring, but it's so weird. It's an indie game so no publisher really backed it with their yen but who helps get this game made into a reality? 

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PODCAST: Game Time E3 Wrap-Up

1:53 PM 0
This week on Toons Game Time, Brian is joined by Mart, Tucker and Ryan as they discuss the recently wrapped up E3 show in Los Angeles.

The conference was huge, as usual, and the guys talk about what games sound the most interesting, the spots where each company missed the mark and what was missing from the show.

Weigh in with your own thoughts at ToonsShow@gmail.com.

And go to sleep already, Mart.

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Tuesday, June 16

Game Time E3 Thoughts: Microsoft

10:07 PM 0

E3 is all about hype. It's a marketing team's dream going in and going out. That will never change. One thing that did change this year was the perceived "winner" of this year's video gaming throwdown.

This is a continuation of a very general breakdown of what we saw at this year's conference and my thoughts on them. I will speak in more detail on the conference with my gaming friends on an episode of Toons Game Time later this week. Weigh in with your own thoughts in the comment section, on facebook or by emailing us at ToonsShow@gmail.com (or just use the contact form in the sidebar of this very page).

My thoughts on Bethesda, EA, Ubisoft and Sony's presentations will come as I have time to type them up. These links will go active below as I get the time to finish them up:

Bethesda | EA | Ubisoft | Sony


- Brian


Is it okay to say that Microsoft has, by and large, had their collective asses handed to them for the duration of this cycle of consoles? It's probably more than okay. It's probably unnecessary. This year, Microsoft took big steps toward changing that. But they still have a long way to go to make up for three years of "not getting it."

Microsoft kicked off their show by pushing Halo 5: Guardians to the center stage. As I watched this presentation, I couldn't help but think of just how powerful this generation of machines truly is. The visuals on this game were nearly perfect, so far as I could tell. I think my only issue with the game was an "old man" issue in that there was just so much going on that it was distracting (I'd later say the same thing about Call Of Duty: Black Ops III).

But forget about that for a moment. Microsoft and 343 Studios are still in hot water from fans over the disaster that was Halo: Master Chief Collection and righfully so. This game looks to make up a lot of ground for them.

There have been a ton of leaks and releases surrounding this game that really add to the existing story and mythos surrounding Master Chief that should keep the game fresh for players of the campaign and the addition of a 24-player Warzone will keep those more into the multiplayer experience happy with the promisise of the largest maps the franchise has seen. Forbes' magazine is already raving about the Warzone experience HERE.

Following up that presentation was ReCore, an XBox One exclusive. ReCore is an interesting looking title that came across to me as a cross between Lara Croft and Star Wars. Unfortunately, we didn't see anything outside of a CGI trailer but it looked good.

At this point, Phil Spencer came out and I just included that to say that I like him a lot.

Oh, and his announcement of Backwards Compatibility. It was kind of funny to see instant criticism of this on twitter but the only criticism I have of this move is that it should have been done on Day One. That said, gamers should be happy with this move. As should GameStop.

Any criticism of this move beyond that - especially by my fellow PS4 owners - should be promptly disregarded.

Elite, indeed
The XBox One Elite Wireless Controller was announced next. The actual controller exceeded all of my personal expectations as it added a bunch of new features beyond the 3.5 mm audio jack that everybody talked about leading up to E3. The underbelly triggers and adjustable sensitivity features alone will make this a must have controller for gaming on the XBOne and Windows 10 based PCs. And that's not even everything.

I like it a lot.

Fallout 4 for the XBOne was presented by Bethesda's Todd Howard came out to discuss the game (which I covered in the Bethesda article) and users' ability to use PC-created mods in the game for the low cost of free as well as second screen play through their smart device.

Next, Peter Moore of the evil corporation EA discussed EA Access, an XBox exclusive program that gives early access to EA's releases for $5 a month. Games announced for the program included Madden 16, Titanfall, and Dragon Age: Inquisition.

My son was excited to hear about PvZ: Garden Warfare 2, but seeing as how it's not an exclusive game, it seems as though presenting the World Premier of the trailer during Microsoft's presentation was pointless other than the obvious benefit of hearing Danger Zone. EA should have been left to present it during their own show later.

Sexy wheels
Forza Motorsports 6, as expected, looked great. Henry Ford III even came out to help present it. As did a sweet-ass Ford GT (no price available anywhere, by the way). Forza has been a mainstay for XBox and the perfect competition for Sony's vaunted Gran Turismo franchise. The game looked incredible and the music during this presentation was unusual but good.

Next up was the long-awaited Darksouls III trailer. The game trailer felt epic but, again, was just a trailer so I tend to take that for what it was. Announced for Spring of 2016, that game should move some copies.

Tom Clancy's The Division (which will be in Beta form on XBOne first in December) looked fantastic with what appears to be an anarchy-driven theme. I want to play it right now. But, again, CGI trailer.

Also, the military experience in me has to keep asking why, in every military-like combat title we have to have LED tech built into the weapons. Not very tactical for night missions if you ask me. And bringing out Frenchman Laurent Detoc of Ubisoft to speak about it was even more amusing.

He also announced Rainbow Six Siege and its team-based co-op play which looked interesting enough.

Next, the first Windows 10/XBOne exclusive title, Gigantic in all its glory-ish-ness. It looked like an overhyped Disney Infinity property and I wasn't all that interested.

Then we saw a montage of retro-styled games that only an advanced ADHD patient could truly appreciate. I have no idea what all was in there outside of some Western game. And friggin' Goat Simulator. But it was all a part of ID@XBox which is a good thing. So I'll just trust them on this one. It was just terrible presentation of that sequence.

Tacoma, a timed XBOne/PC exclusive title looked interesting in a futuristic first-person kind of way. But it didn't hold my attention that long.

Cuphead looks like legit fun.
I'm a sucker for artistic presentation in games, so Ashen I stuck with. Whether or not it fleshes out, we have yet to see, but I like what I saw artistically. That artistry continued with Beyond Eyes, but it looked like more of a "girl game." Call me a misogynist.

Cuphead looked to capture the essence of 1930s cartoons which is refreshing. And fun.

XBox also announce XBox Game Preview, a program that will allow gamers to try before they buy. Well done, XBox. Well done.

Ion, a timed exclusive looked great visually, but I'm not sure what's going on with it. I just know there's a lot of space stuff going on and that, given an absence of Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, it's at least got a fighting chance.

As far as upcoming games go, Rise of the Tomb Raider, ranks up there among the titles that I'm most interested in. I love how the character has evolved over the years and think that XBox has a great thing with this entry. We got to see some gameplay and it looked fantastic. File this game under "I Want."

As far as collections go, nothing at this point will match the Rare collection that will be exclusive to XBOne in August. They had me at Battletoads and locked me in with R.C. Pro Am. If you're a retro gamer and not feeling this collection, you should no longer consider yourself a retro gamer. Period.

Rare then switched gears, introducing Sea of Thieves, a multiplayer pirating adventure game that looked good but far from polished. So, whatever.

At this point, I started to lose interest, to be honest. Oh, that's right....Fable: Legends. I'm tired of Fable. Everybody's tired of Fable, I think. And that sucks because that was once my most anticipated game.

The only way to follow up that stinker was to bring in the Oculus Rift and HoloLens. Both of these peripherals have great potential and the ability of the Rift to stream XBOne games via Windows 10 is pretty interesting.

But the HoloLens.....if that representation was accurate.....I want it yesterday. So very cool.
Of course, it gets a special edition.
Next, and at that point rather anti-climactically, Gears of War Ultimate Edition got its moment in the sun. It's a remastered Gears of War. But purchasing it at $40 will also get you access to the Beta of Gears of War 4 which looks great. And bloody.

The show closed out with Phil Spencer indicating that many more exclusive titles will be showcased at GamesCon in August.

All in all, a great showing for XBox and Microsoft as a whole. In my eyes, they made up a lot of ground after the disaster that was the launch of this generation's system and Spencer - an avid gamer - himself has a ton to do with that.

Biases aside, XBOne has to be happy with this year's show. As a PS4 owner, it kind of ruffles my feathers a bit. Especially that Elite controller.

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Game Time E3 Thoughts: Bethesda

7:40 PM 0

E3 is all about hype. It's a marketing team's dream going in and going out. That will never change. One thing that did change this year was the perceived "winner" of this year's video gaming throwdown.

This is the first of a very general breakdown of what we saw at this year's conference and my thoughts on them. I will speak in more detail on the conference with my gaming friends on an episode of Toons Game Time later this week. Weigh in with your own thoughts in the comment section, on facebook or by emailing us at ToonsShow@gmail.com (or just use the contact form in the sidebar of this very page).

My thoughts on Microsoft, EA, Ubisoft and Sony's presentations will come as I have time to type them up. These links will go active below as I get the time to finish them up:

Microsoft | EA | Ubisoft | Sony


- Brian


This year, for the first time ever, Bethesda put on their own conference at E3, and overall, it was a great thing. Of all the presentations, this was the gold standard, for me, in terms of presentation. But it wasn't perfect, for sure.

Bethesda started out strong by presenting Doom 4. Doom 3 came out all the way back in 2004 so this title is a pretty big deal. Further, Bethesda and id Software did the smartest thing they could do: stick with what made Doom popular in the first place. Of course, they added a whole bunch of features like multiplayer and level creation, but at its heart, it never strays from what it is.

To the people complaining about the gratuitous violence in the gameplay footage, I say this: It's Doom. And it's violent. And it's gruesome. And you don't have to play it.

From there, Bethesda introduced Bethesda.net which will be their very own gaming experience hub. This, while not expected, was not a surprise, either. Companies seem to be making every possible move to control their properties and that's what this feels like to me.

Next up was Battlecry and the announcement of a world-wide beta. Meh. Let's be honest: This game looked like shit. And it looked like the kind of shit that wouldn't have been a hit two generations of consoles ago. The graphics were choppy and very polygon-y.

Moving on.

Dishonored 2
Dishonored 2 and the news of its presence at E3 was leaked ahead of the presentation but it looked good. By "good" I mean as good as a CGI cutscene trailer with no actual gameplay can look. In that way, it looked GREAT. I want to see more, but I want to see gameplay. The female protagonist had some pretty sweet moves and weapons and her counterpart was appropriately brooding and had some General Greivous level robotic guardians that were pretty cool in design.

We'll see.

Of course, the team then announced the upcoming Dishonored: Definitive Edition which was leaked months ago. The original game plus all DLC. Pretty standard fare.

Seemingly out of place was Bethesda's next presentation of Elder Scrolls Legends. Maybe it's just me, but I don't care to see another card-based Magic: The Gathering or Hearthstone type game with characters I don't necessarily care about that sort of resemble some of the characters I've seen in games. I didn't even want to see those two games, though, so maybe I'm biased. I'll stick with Pokemon, thank you.

Then came Todd Howard and his presentation of Fallout 4. This was the best 4. It was the Fantasticest 4. It made me happy. In the pants.

The Fallout story seems to take a slightly different turn this time around with the protagonist being the sole-survivor of Vault 111 in the Boston area. It still feels very much the same as Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas and that's a good thing, but with the added aspect of trying to rebuild the character's community, a revamped recycle/crafting system and weapons modifications, there should be plenty of new stuff to fiddle around with.

There's just so much to look forward to for this game and to try to cover it all here would frankly defeat the purpose of this particular post. Just watch this and be happy. In the pants.

Oh. A real, working Pip-Boy (in a manner of speaking) is available in a Collector's Edition of the game. Want. Nay. NEED.

And, further, there will be no need to wait for the game, which will be released in November of this year.

Before closing out the show, Howard - who is hands down the best presenter at E3 this year -  also revealed the now-available mobile game Fallout Shelter. Look for a review of that game on this site in the near future.

As I said above, as far as first attempts go, Bethesda went yard compared to nearly everybody else. Beyond the "games only" content that they were able to bring - and since that's all they do, it was easy for them to stick to games - their general presentation was just far more relaxed and natural than any of the other presentations we saw at E3 this year. It wasn't without flaw, but it didn't need to be either.

They have to be happy and fans of Bethesda's past work have to be happy as well.
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Friday, June 12

PODCAST: TGT E3 Preview (Sony Edition) w/ @Ham0nRy

11:00 PM 0

This week on Toons Game Time, Brian and Ryan Hamner of the Johnny Goodtimes Fun Factory podcast discuss Sony and the upcoming E3 Conference. They discuss things like VR and Project Morpheus, the strength of the platform's exclusive content, upcoming movies related to Sony properties and they discover their mutual nerd tendencies toward the Star Wars franchise.

All that an much more on this edition of Toons Game Time, part of the Trending Topics Network.

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Sunday, June 7

PODCAST: TGT E3 Preview (Microsoft Ed.) w/ @PK_BWC and @You_MeAnd_McKee

12:06 PM 0

This week on Toons Game Time, Brian brings along PK and Tucker to discuss the upcoming E3 Conference. This edition of the E3 preview focuses solely on Microsoft and what the company has in store for the XBox One and its gamers.

During the show, the guys discussed Microsoft's last E3 conference and whether they met the expectations set from 2014's show, whether or not the company has learned from their mistakes and where the focus should lie in the future for the company.

There's a lot on the horizon for XBox One gamers, whether its Windows 10, developer acquisitions or any number of other developments and the guys tried to cover it all.

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Saturday, June 6

This Day in Video Games: June 6, 2001 - Walmart?

12:00 PM 0

If you've been following Toons newcomer Paul and his series Shit Japants on ConstruxNunchux.com, you're already well aware of the fact that video games can be weird. The thing is, that "weirdness" is not limited to the island nation of Japan. Oh, no, my friends. It is not.

May I present to you The WalMart SUV Parking Lot Challenge!

Finding information on this Vertigo Games creation for Windows PC can be difficult if you don't read a number of languages. What you need to know is that the game's general gist is ..... well ..... you park your SUV?

Look, video games are not always about their awesome graphics, creativity, innovation in design, detailed storyline, cultural subtext, musical score, value as an entertainment medium, character development, replay value, controls, historical significance or even their fun factor. It's just most times games will have at least one of those things going for it.

Either way, it's nice to know that Vertigo Games was able to put out a game (that, by the way, warranted a sequel called The WalMart SUV Parking Challenge 2) after having their first game rejected.

That game? Nocturnal Emmissions.

Look at those in-game graphics! JUST LOOK!!!

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Friday, June 5

This Day in Video Games: June 5, 2012 - Skylanders

12:00 PM 0

Every once in a while, an unexpected success spawns numerous copycats to equally large successes. On June 5, 2012, the gaming industry witnessed the birth of that very scenario.

It could be argued that no other gaming franchise has had quite the impact on the industry that Skylanders has had over the last 5 years. It's possible you could go even further back than that - Sony/Microsoft's foray into online console gaming, maybe - before you even find something close. But Skylanders completely changed the game using what Nintendo used as a misdirection to get its Nintendo Entertainment System onto retailers' shelves decades ago: toys.

When Skylanders: Spyro's Adventure was released simultaneously on 6 different platforms just 3 years ago, it took little time for retailers and game developers to realize that what Activision had stumbled upon was less an anomaly and more a phenomenon. Sales across the systems (XBox 360, PS3, Wii, 3DS, Windows, and Mac) were nearly universally huge and the reason why was incredibly simple.

Kids like video games. Kids like toys. And kids like collecting.

And most parents can't stand either telling their kids "No" or listening to them whine.

It's the perfect marketing storm and the only real surprise was that Nintendo didn't think of it first.

They had used R.O.B. to convince retailers that the NES was indeed a toy. They used the simple slogan of "Gotta Catch 'em All" to spawn there own collectible craze in Pokemon. But bringing interactive collectible toys to modern gaming and infusing literally billions of dollars to the bottom line of developers? Credit for that lies with Activision.

Since Skylanders' breakthrough, we've seen Disney release Infinity (which will release its version 3.0 soon) and Nintendo integrate Amiibos into both the Wii U and 3DS XL. By year's end, Lego's own Dimensions will join that fray. 

Spyro the Dragon was a cute, likeable character right up until the release of Skylanders. Now he is a behemoth. And all it took was the creativity of one development team

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Thursday, June 4

This Day in Video Game History: June 4, 1987

12:00 PM 0

How could a game that sold less than 5,000 copies spawn an arguably successful franchise? How could a game that received virtually no backing from its own publisher go on to win an award as the Best Fantasy, Role Playing or Adventure Game of 1987 from the Software and Information Industry Association?

Leisure Suit Larry's first iteration, released on June 4, 1987 for the Apple II did exactly those things.

Larry Laffer, circa 1991
Sierra Online released Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards with virtually no support. The game's premise worried some higher-ups in the company given its cutting edge raunchiness. The game focuses on Larry Laffer, a lame "Ladies Man" wannabe who can't even get laid. In this first entry, Larry is a 38 year old virgin who lives in his mom's house and travels to Lost Wages to meet up with his carnal destiny.

Lost Wages, if you haven't figured out, is Las Vegas and would provide him as good a change as any of achieving his goal.

Given the memory restrictions presented by the Apple II, Larry could only choose from 4 girls to attempt to woo in a linear side-scrolling adventure: An STD-having prostitute (that will result in your game ending quickly if you bed her), a clubber, a receptionist and a "bathing beauty." Each of the girls was given detailed graphic designs while the other NPCs in the game were left very generic, visually.

In 1996, in a beautiful if not planned, coincidence, Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards was named the 69th best game of all time by Computer Gaming World. That ranking has likely dropped since then.

All in all, the Leisure Suit Larry series would comprise of 9 different games and four more which were never released. Larry Laffer would not make it through the entire series as he was replaced with his nephew, Larry Lovage, in the 2004 entry to the series, Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude.

Here is the trailer for Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards:

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Wednesday, June 3

E3 Exclusive: Molyneux Promises Most Ambitious MMO Ever

8:25 PM 0

LOS ANGELES (ToonsShow.com) - Ambition is no stranger to Peter Molyneux.

Those familiar with the former the founder of Lionhead Studios know that Molyneux isn't afraid to reveal that ambition, either. Addressing a recent leak ahead of this month's E3 conference, the at times infamous developer took the time to briefly address his latest project, being careful not to divulge too many of the "surprises planned for the conference."

According to Molyneux, the goal of the project, known as Peter Molyneux's Life, according to the leaked poster, is to create the most interdependent MMO in the industry.

Leaked Promotional Poster
"Every decision we make, every word we say, as human beings," he said in a conference call, "affects each and every other human being. This is true regardless of our gender, our race, our sexuality, even our age. Our lives are all interconnected.

"Things like social media have numbed us to this in a way. We have the technology, the creativity and the means to reawaken this awareness and really bring that to the medium."

Life will begin with choices, asking players to choose to take on the role of either a singular sperm or egg cell. Things like conception and birth can be simulated through, however there will be perks to going through the process like specialization of growth.

"If one wishes to become strong in one area or another," he revealed "math, science, music, art, physical fitness, that will require a little extra attention be paid to your character in the womb."

He promised more - including the relationship dynamics that will be central to gameplay - would be revealed at E3, offering only that everything from romance, family, work and other more mundane aspects - including remembering to take out the trash, lest you be reprimanded by your wife/significant other - of the human experience will all be represented in the online society.

With many other projects, most notably Microsoft's exclusive Fable series, Molyneux's vision has surpassed his team's (or the console's) capabilities to fans' disappointment. Only time will tell.

The preceding article is not to be taken seriously at all. Everything, except Peter Molyneux's ambition and Fable falling short in many ways, is 100% fabricated. It's a joke.
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This Day in Video Game History: June 3, 1986

12:00 PM 0

There is no other name as synonymous with the second (and continuing) video game boom as Mario. Without the success of Super Mario and his brother Luigi, it can be argued that the industry would have fizzled into obscurity for at least a generation.

On June 3, 1986 the sequel to the smash hit Super Mario Bros. was released for the NES. The inital release of Super Mario Bros. 2 - which has been theorized to take place in a dream - took place in Japan for the NES and Famicom Disk System under the name Super Mario Bros. USA.

The actual American version of the game wouldn't be released until October of 1988. By the end of its initial run, it would be released on 6 different systems and sell over 10 million copies. The game has since been released for various Nintendo DS handhelds and in GameCube and Wii system collections for today's youth to enjoy.

Not bad for a plumber, his brother, a princess and a little dude that's a mushroom.

Here is the world-record run through of the game. No glitches or anything.

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Tuesday, June 2

This Day in Video Game History: June 2, 1995

12:00 PM 0

On this date in 1995, Double Dragon from the Neo Geo CD was released in the United States.

While your first instinct may be to remember the original iteration of the Double Dragon arcade beat 'em up, the Neo Geo version of the game was a spin-off based on the Double Dragon movie. You know the one. The one with Alyssa Milano, Scott Wolf and that chick-back-in-the-day girl from the soap operas.

This game, unlike the original series of Double Dragon, took the form of a fighting game, pitting one character against the other but with the addition of some new concepts like a charge meter that filled up faster as your health depleted and anime-like character design. Its ten playable characters and two bosses - the final boss being Koga Shuko from the movie - made it pretty standard for the day for a fighting game.

You might not have played this game because it got generally bad reviews, but it was Double Dragon so it's still cool in our book.

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